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Most people who are overweight usually eat unhealthy foods, don't exercise, and simply eat too much. New York: Cambridge University Press. I wouldn't shame a gay man for not being attracted to women or shame a 20 year old for not being attracted to a 60 between old. Maybe u might, but think about it ,if u would not dare an OLD fat woman, we r not interested in old short fat guys too ok. I'm 58 and am in better shape than dating fat man all obese 25-year-old women I'm not interested in anyone 20 or 30 caballeros younger than me, by the way, regardless of their shape. Because that kind of neediness is endlessly unattractive.

Cannot sit on a persons lap without killing them - this is a big one 14. And so should you. I contacted you and after I explained to you my problem. The truth: While there are, of course, some people who only seek relationships for money or power, the truth of the matter is that quite often, people will choose to be with a fat man because they actually want to be with him.

Free Fat Dating - Image source: Pinterest Reason? We do live in a society where it is hard to stay fit and healthy, esp.

As a fat woman, I've experienced the extreme shallowness that exists in our society. I'm speaking from years of experience, and believe me when I say: I'm fat. If you're wondering why I haven't done anything about it, I have! Unless you've been fat before, i. I've lost 100 pounds before, but due to the fact that I am a stress eater living a stress-filled life, I have gained it back plus more. However, just because I'm fat doesn't mean that I'm totally unattractive—at least not in my eyes! And, yes, I always take care of myself by waxing, getting pedicures and manicures, etc. This doesn't change the fact that, according to our society, being fat means you are ugly. Men certainly do not find fat women attractive. The excuse I have heard my entire life is that they are visual creatures. Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more. You can't find someone like that if you are constantly judging a woman on her weight before considering her other qualities. Give the fat girls a chance! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything the skinny or average woman can—maybe even better. I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Most men also have an appreciation for food. I think this is true. All I know is that men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. I think you are much more compatible with someone within a few years of your own age. Maybe that's my own shallowness rearing its ugly head! But my takeaway from this online dating situation is that it proves to me that men just don't like fat women. Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read before they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site, and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. This is quite depressing to me as a Christian myself. Yes, I thought, someone is interested in me for more than my looks. Go figure the guy was a complete weirdo. I think the solution to meeting a man is to either lose weight or give up on men and become a nun or lesbian. I love the shallow idiots. Adele, Queen Latifah, Kristie Ashley, Aretha Franklin, Dascha Polanco, and Missy Elliot, just to name a few. Channel any or all of these divas. If you need help seeing more models that look like yourself, check out the blogs such as or. Last but not least, practice self acceptance. That critical voice in the back of your head? Be gentle with yourself over any mistakes, and never lose sight of the things about your life you love. The second most important piece of advice is to maintain your perspective. A real perspective, not one propagated by the media. The average weight for women is 166 pounds and the average waist of a woman is 37. This is the average, which means that a good number of people are above that. The answer is of course not. I sometimes file this under maintaining perspective. If you are hanging out on the subway or at the airport, what percentage of the men that you see would you want to date? Definitely less than one out of ten. Ignore them and keep meeting new people. On the flip side, don't take rejection personally. Again, keep perspective, and follow the same protocol—ignore them and keep meeting new people. The first battle to fight is internal. Believe me, I know the hardship of battling through weirdos without becoming a nun. Remember: you are not in the minority, and divas come in all sizes. Stop asking men to like what they don't.. As an ugly yet fit woman I don't criticize men just because they don't want me.. My fiancé is funny, driven and is not the hottest but his love for me and personality are out of this world. I just feel bad when I say I have a friend who would be perfect for his friend and the first thing he ask is how does she look cause his friends only date thin women who look half their age. Perhaps you should stop blaming everyone else for not beeign attracted to you and rather work on yourself. Would I avoid dating a chick just beacuse shes fat? Absolutely, I dont find that shit attractive and since I am taking care of myself why should my expectations for a girl be any lower? I don't find overweight men attractive. I am happy to have overweight male friends, but jumping into bed with them is a whole different story and most people consider sex an important part of a relationship. I make an effort to stay slim and healthy more effort than most, as I have a broken thyroid , so I expect the same of a potential partner. I don't think it is an unreasonable expectation to be physically attracted to a man I want to share a bed with. I don't expect a six pack or a model face, but having enough self discipline to stay slim and healthy is a basic requirement for me. I don't think it's right to shame people for not wanting to sleep with people that are not attracted to. I wouldn't shame a gay man for not being attracted to women or shame a 20 year old for not being attracted to a 60 year old. The chemistry is either there or it isn't. Women shouldn't be forced to date fat men, nor should men be forced to date fat women. While yes people can be shallow and love in general is very problematic, this isn't a healthy thinking of forcing people to love another group. How would homosexuals feel if they were pressured by someone to love someone they didn't? Society is a strange thing. If one is eating healthy and exercising in order to maintain their health, then who is anyone to criticize? The truth is, people choose to be cruel, and it is, for some lousy reason, acceptable in society to bully those that are fighting their own genetics are overweight. Don't allow those that choose to be bullies to steal your happiness or your health. If you want to be loved, LOVE YOURSELF. Anyone that cannot appreciate you for exactly who you are isn't worth your time. Stay beautiful and always remember that you are. I was in good shape in High school and am within 5 lbs of the last day of school. I'm a short man, witch I can do nothing about, but have ALWAYS watch my weight. I have always viewed women who are overweight as boring, unattractive, and unsexy. Most men are attracted to women with their eyes, and if the view isn't good they pass. I was a chubby little girl because my parents were stupid. Then an anorexic teenager because of twiggy and the vogue generation. I have been on a diet for 50 years, every time I lose 100 lbs I gain back 120. I am so sick of lazy stupid men who only want to go out and eat, drink and watch hockey then complain I spend to much time at the gym and I still have a fat ass. I spend my day at work sitting at my desk then I come home and work my ass off again taking care of everybody else only to be abused for it. I wish I could find somebody to love me, help me to live a healthy lifestyle, and stop comparing me to some skinny photoshop teenager. YOU DON'T KNOW ME! I AM NOT LAZY. I am damaged from the abuse. I am depressed because according to this conversation I am never going to be worth anything to anybody until I am skinny. I'm 58 and am in better shape than virtually all obese 25-year-old women I'm not interested in anyone 20 or 30 years younger than me, by the way, regardless of their shape. My non-work life revolves around physical activity. Fat women can't do that. I see a fat woman as someone who sits around a lot. She won't keep up with me. I spend enough time sitting around at work. I don't want to hang out with someone who spends a lot of time in the kitchen, or nibbling, or watching TV. I also don't want the baggage that goes along with a fat woman - joint problems, heart problems, often diabetes and no end of other health problems that can even include vision problems and early dementia. As well as wondering whether the fatness is covering up a psychological problem. Weight can be lost - I lost 40 pounds in 3 months when my doctor told me to 15 years ago and have kept it off, without crash dieting - just by eating sensibly. I won't be cruel to you if I meet you, but I just can't imagine that we'd have that much in common if you're extremely overweight. The overweight women I've known who were great people have had no problem finding a mate. They weren't focused on 'superficial things', as you put it like money, status, etc. Men who have means don't want fat women, generally speaking. I'm not the poor guy I mention in my hypothetical. I do fine financially and actually prefer a woman with a feminine curvy figure... Fat translates to lazy and lack of discipline. Since I'm an energetic man who enjoys outdoor activities and working out, why would I want a lazy slug who sits around whining and putting on weight because she's stressed out? I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. And, no, I'm not wealthy. Not even that tall. Women just like me and it's not my fault the younger ones want to spend time with me. I love a girl that has a healthy appetite. To see her gain weight, that's such a turn-on for Me! Squeeze her fat, play with it, fondle it, is so exciting. Shake it, jiggle it, makes my heart race! Truth is, there are way more men that feel this way, that you think. They're afraid of what their friends and family will say. Instead of following their heart, and being happy, they give in to what we're all forced to see and think. If you think someone is beautiful, tell them! You're the one who has to look at them at the breakfast table. If you make her feel beautiful, she will always be faithful, and love you to death! The only reason you are alive and able to post your stupid blog enabling other fat people to live an unhealthy life is because your parents found one another attractive and more importantly suitable to work together to raise a family. It has been proven that obesity is linked to mental health issues and the fact that you are deluded and trying to delude others into believing you're beautiful and that men should accept you the way you are is proof of your mental instability. Men don't find you unattractive because they are shallow, men find you unattractive because you are fat. It is amazing what lengths people will go to in order to cling to their addiction, including writing this article of nonsense. People can't help it if they aren't physically attracted to someone who is obese. Being unhealthy, quite simply, is unattractive. I am and have been obese for quite sometime. Now that I have finally come to terms with my problem and accept that there is nothing wrong with the fact that I too need to be physically attracted to my partner, I have been able to summon the willpower to stop shoveling food down my gullet. I don't care what people here say. I used to be chubby with abit of a belly and but recently lost a lot of weight n my physique n belly is in very good shape now. Like very flat belly n slim. And now, I'm getting ALOT of men chasing me.. Buying flowers n cakes n stuff. I clearly see the big difference. Honestly physical attraction is a big deal. Wot I want to say to men is... If u would never dream of dating an OLD or out of shape woman, then don't expect girls to want to date an old, short or fat guy as well. As much as u like a physical attraction, we do too. Just don't understand when old grandpa type or short fat guys hit on young fit girls thinking they have a chance. Maybe u might, but think about it ,if u would not dare an OLD fat woman, we r not interested in old short fat guys too ok. So yeah the door swings both ways. I recently joined an online dating site, and so far all I've attracted are men my father's age or older. It's not their fault your current results, which are based on your past and current actions, do not generate attraction. Men, and women alike have COMPLETE right to do what they want! Look at the studies; Women are harsher on other women than men would ever hope to be! There is no controlling what you are attracted to. RESEARCH THE SCIENCE OF ATTRACTION!!!! Men and women alike are constantly sending messages to the opposite sex. Men are ALWAYS looking for fertility. Obese women send the subconscious message that their hormones are lacking, and therefore are less fertile, and henceforth LESS ATTRACTIVE!! The world is the way it is because of natural processes outside of anyone's control. Wtf did you think happened? Who gave you the right to reach into everyone's genetics and change them to how you fucking want them? The best you can do is discourage people from being jerks. But you Will NEVER change what evolution has already decided. Put ya big girl panties on, get a damn binky, and stop desiring to fuck with my DNA. We are the same age. After meeting several dates with her, she stopped asking me. I thought nothing of it until she told me that some of her dates wouldn't stop talking or asking about me or we seemed to hit it off. Maybe being overweight lessened the stress on the man's part to impress allowing him to talk more without feeling to much stress. Maybe the the same for me. Maybe they found me physically attractive or a combination of all. Since I wasn't trying to impress anyone I actually did inadvertantly, to the point my friend felt I was a threat. Of course people judge others first by their looks if that is what is presented first, but it doesn't necessarily mean that first impressions are the only impressions that person can walk away with. That's the kind of people they are, most likely they are hiding something about themselves they hate and you wouldn't want to be with this kind of person anyway. Good luck on your journey, there is someone for everyone out there. When you cannot stop eating, it is a disease just like a drug addict. Don't you think that if we could just stop eating that we could????????? It's not that easy. Or we all would be thin and happy. Guys are very visual creatures. That is a fact. When I was thin I had guys flocking to me, when I gained weight, no guys wanted anything to do with me. By the way women are the same way. Sometimes the beauty is inside, not the outside. But the truth is, weight matters. I wish it didn't and it's not something I ever thought twice about when I was fit. We cannot help what we are attracted to. However, being this weight has actually been a blessing in disguise for me. Once I return to the weight that I had been comfortable with all my life, I will not be open to dating someone who fat shames... To me it would be on the same level as a woman shaming a man for being poor but now had money? Would you be able to trust that she would be there with you through the good and bad? Shaming is superficial, judgmental and downright cruel but it's also in someone's full control which is why I will not accept it. I'm in the health field and used to be very fit and active until I had some health problems that directly impacted my weight. It has been a very strange experience to have been very fit and then the polar opposite... I spent most of my life in long term relationships, no problems getting dates and guys being crazy about me but this was all when I was fit. When my weight transitioned after my last long term relationship, the dating world was a much different world than I had remembered it. I just could not picture my life without him. I just could not picture my life without him. After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted you and after I explained to you my problem. In just 24hours, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before Dr EKA you are the best spell caster i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again Dr EKA at dreka14demons gmail. Say what you want, but we are not being shallow! Besides do you really want to be pitied? Because that's what your asking for. He should go out with you even though your fat, he just needs to deal with it. What you're asking for is to be pitied. You can say the words but you never really mean it. Believe it or not but it really is all about sex - it is about sexual attraction... Yes, there is more to it than just sex but sex is still a huge part if it. Some guys love woman regardless and I actually find thicker, and fuller woman are more attractive then skinny girls I prefer my woman in all shapes mostly except as strange as it sounds skinny. Physical attraction is somewhat primal. I'm talking about both sexes. Not having the willpower to control food intake also may raise a red flag to many - it is a weakness. Have you thought of dating fat guys?? Do you find fat men attractive? Date an obese man. So yes, I'm saying that women are every bit as shallow when it comes to judging men. But here is the thing, my thinning hair is something that is completely out of my control... At least not without spending thousands of dollars on it! However, a persons weight is something that is usually very much within their control. I know there a some cases where it is not, but face it, these cases are rare! Most people are overweight for the simple reason that they eat too much, and exercise too little. This is going to lead the opposite sex into thinking that you do not care enough about yourself to make healthy lifestyle decisions. I apologize if that sounds harsh, but it is the simple non-sugarcoated truth! I love to cook, and eat what I cook, because... I love bread, and cheese, and sweets, but I also love being active. I do not snack or eat processed foods, but have a few sweets a few times a week. I only eat fresh and not a lot of red meats. My husband loves my cooking! That is, we are not supposed to be seditary, our ancient ancestors were always on the moving and working hard for their meals and shelter. A healthy individual is not fat, and actually not all healthy individuals are extremely skinny either. A healthy individual is fit and in shape. Either ends of the spectrum of being obese, or too thin indicates weaknesses such as inability to have control of oneself, or to educate ones self on nutrional information, perhaps indicates insecurites, depression, ocd ect. On this topic, bologically, it is not benifitial to pair up with an unhealthy individual. There is a reason why a healthy body weight is attractive. Because this is also an indication of mental wellness, and intellegence. You have the world at your finger tips. Spend less time on dating sites and more time researching what you are eating and how, AND WHY - to be healthy- for yourself- no one else... The last thing our society should give in to is peoples with bad health choises, just to stroke the egos and not offend anyone. This is not societies fault, not mens perceptions, or women who make healthy choisees. I am not tall and 'thin' because society thinks i should be... I am in shape because I am healthy and a choose to be healthy. I choose to educate myself and I choose to cook healthy, delicious foods. I decide when I eat and how much with self control and decipline. Cannot fit into the booths at restuarants 2. Can barely fit into the seats on airplanes 2B. Try to ride a regular street bike comfortably and without getting winded during the first 30 seconds 4. Try to take a bath, probably cannot fit 5. Can't jump on a trampoline 6. Cannot join the Military 8. Cannot sit in a chair without spilling over to the sides 10. IF you are able to even sit on the floor, you won't be able to get up in a dignified way. Too big for most water slides 13. Cannot sit on a persons lap without killing them - this is a big one 14. Can't really even look good in clothes 15. Toilets are too small for fat people 16. Live past 45 18. Having to use the scooter carts at grocery stores instead of a regular cart. Easily cut their toenails 23. Try to ride a horse 25. Walk between people in tight spaces 26. Easily go under a car to fix it 27. Can't do 98% of sex positions 29. Easily walk up stairs 31. SURVIVE MOST LIFE THREATENING SITUATIONS 32B. Boyfriend can't even carry you to safety. If your falling off an edge, don't expect people to grab you - you will be like an anchor and take them with you, we don't want to die. If there is a fire and you are a couple stories up, you will probably break the trampoline that firefighters use to catch people. You know why you cannot do any of these things? Because your too fat. I want a girl who is healthy. Men don't like heavy women, I have been married for 10 years and he says he's attracted to bigger women, I know he's full of crap because I catch him looking at porn which of coarse he is looking at skinny women. I don't believe for one second that any guy even guys who date big women are attracted to them. I believe all men are attracted to thin women they just settle and take what they can get with thick chubby or big women. I don't think that's asking for too much and it makes sense. I've had issues before when I was with a girl who just wanted to sit on her ass all day. I wanted to go for walks, swim, hike or something. The desire for physical activity is usually seen in how fit a person is. Thus, expecting someone with a similar level of fitness works out well. Perhaps you don't want a man who is as fat as you. I'm sure she clicks past the fat or less attracitve men. Does she call herself shallow? Especially with online dating, there has to be some kind of spark. Yes fat people get a bum rap on dating sites, but it goes both ways. Don't call men shallow for browsing dating sites the same way you do. Well, do men HAVE to find every woman attractive? That's basically what you are saying, actually complaining, that it's not fair. So you as a large woman, find EVERY man physically acceptable for dating and intimacy? It's a simple equation, all the food you are stuffing down must be used up so IF you want to be slimmer, don't make excuses, be strong, just do it. I mean, come on, biggest loser contestants can do it when the hope of money is involved. Men can't force themselves to be attracted to a huge woman any more than he can force himself to look at a man, it's just not there if it's just not there. Do you expect someone to FORCE himself to be attracted to you? There isn't anything wrong with that, because it can tell you other things about their personality. It's not completely shallow. One woman has neat, clean, combed hair. Another woman's hair is dirty and unkempt. Unless there's a specific reason for that, you can tell the second woman doesn't take hygiene or personal care too seriously. It's the same thing with people who are overweight. Most people who are overweight usually eat unhealthy foods, don't exercise, and simply eat too much. This shows a lack of self-discipline and less understanding of health and nutrition. If a man wants to have a child with a woman, who would he rather pick? The in-shape, slimmer woman, or the unhealthy looking overweight woman? Instead of owning this problem, that you eat too much, don't eat the right foods, and don't exercise, you just keep looking for people who will accept you. Other fat people will accept you. You'll just keep acting repressed and agreeing with each other that everyone else is the problem, not you. These men have no obligation to date you. If they don't find you attractive, they don't need to do anything they don't want to. You're not owed a partner if you can't take care of yourself. Own your problems, don't make everyone else the problem. To start, I know what it's like to be a stress eater. I'm male, and actually still a teen, but I've dealt with a lot of stress in my life, more than the usual homework and bullies, but I won't go into detail. I try to force myself out of the kitchen, and sometimes succeed, which is why I'm not largely overweight, but I was. I still am overweight, but not as much, though I'd like to be lean or muscular, not overweight at all. So, I understand that portion. To everyone who doesn't get it, some people do react differently to stress than others. Stress, in large doses, can cause a number of problems and illnesses and abnormalities and odd habits. Sometimes people go days not eating, others eat like pigs. Some spend their time puking, some get dangerously bad migraines, others can't stop crying at the smallest of things. And from basic problems like those, more serious issues can occur. Now, to the idiots who have posted that it isn't in our mental programming to seek young, attractive mates, you are wrong. Studies have, in fact, proven that seeking a lover is largely based on appearance because hormones make us want a mate who takes care of themselves and can therefore take care of a child. Attraction to large breasts, for example, is due to the male brain automatically believing that bigger means more milk, so we find it a sexy, erotic thing. A healthy body means the woman or man takes care of themselves, eats right, is active, and has a strong body system suitable for child bearing for women. So, YES, it is in our brains to naturally seek healthier lovers. On the flip side of that, some men are more brains than hormones and look into a girl and see her for her. I have been attracted to only a handful of women I have high standards for an obese guy, if that makes any sense and several of them were about as overweight as I am, maybe a little more or less. I was one of the few guys who found them beautiful despite the weight. My attraction to a girl is based on four things in the following order: Intelligence, Personality, Sense Of Humor, Appearance. The last two are optional, though the first two are mandatory. In this, I am very offended at being told to stop fooling myself and admit to preferring skinny girls. I really don't have a major preference on weight, so I am not fooling myself if I say I don't mind larger girls. Yeah, very offended on that comment. Not all men are hormonal pigs with no sense of dignity and will stoop to dating idiots for good sex. Another note, women are just as bad, sometimes worse, than men. You're fat and I'm not attracted to big guys. Believe me, I've been trying to lose weight. My issue is that I am expected to be the smart guy and people respect me for lacking a sense of vanity, even my family, so if I were to ever actually be caught working-out willingly in front of them, I'd lose that image. So I can only do anything to lose weight in secret or with a different excuse, if the opportunity comes. Probably that I'm worrying for nothing. People might respect me more if I wanted to lose weight and kept my pride low, but I'm worried it will ruin my smart-guy, don't-care-what-you-think-of-my-weight outlook. Another thing, as I just did, own up to your issues. You're overweight, so stop pushing it on men and blaming them. It is in their hormones. If I got skinnier, I'd have men begging for me. All the same, you need to straighten up and realize that while part of the problem is hormonal pigs that you have unfortunately associated me with, you are also part of the problem. Weight is a factor in our lives that can be controlled with self-control. All of that above said, I still do feel pity, a bit, for you, knowing how difficult it can be to lose weigh, especially when you're over 50 pounds overweight. I managed to lose it in secret. I made up the excuse that walking was a good way to relax and unwind, which my family constantly tells me to do, as I am very high-strung, so they were more than willing to let me walk for several miles around town or down back roads anytime I asked if I could without a hint of suspicion. I did it almost daily during the Spring and Summer good temperatures, peace an quiet of back roads that run through forests, excellent time for walking, does help relax and unwind. Oh, and stop expecting so much. Just because a guy is 'Christian' doesn't mean anything. I used to be, of course, but recently I've given up on the title. The closest I come to believing in any god are the Greek Myths, which I love, but I certainly don't worship. However, plenty of guys I know that are Christian are far worse than I am. They can claim to be good people, but their hormones, lack of self-control, and overall personalities will mean more than any Bible passage they read when determining their actual dating preferences, or anything else for that matter. Next time you write anything for all the world to see, try to be less biased and emotional about it and more logical and scientific. Logic, Emotion, and Instincts have to balance one another out if you want to get anywhere and everywhere. Follow your Brain sometimes, your Heart sometimes, and your Gut sometimes, but never always follow one or two and shut the other one or two out completely. Your Heart can easily cloud your better judgement. Bravery without Knowledge is Stupidity. A Heart that doesn't go for what it wants is destined to live in misery. You need all three to complete your life and you're currently basing everything far too much on your emotional bias. In addition, I would be very grateful if you wouldn't generalize me with others of my sex. I find being compared to the majority of them rather offensive. To whoever said Europeans and Asians and all that are better to date, make of me what you will. I am always a gentlemen to the girls I date, making sure to buy flowers for every holiday, along with any other appropriate gifts, I am polite, and I always hear her opinions out before replying or contradicting, as I believe an intelligent woman should have an equal voice in a relationship. I have dated only two girls, actually. Most people find that strange for a 14 year old male, but I point this out merely to say I dated one girl who was, at the time, very, very large and another who was, literally, a model. An actual teenaged model. I dated the big one for several months longer, enjoyed being with her more, and I'm currently still trying to think of ways to get back together with her. She's skinnier, but she's still overweight, and I want to find a way to get back with her. Even if I had an eight pack, sexy pecks, beefy arms, and was just overall the sexiest man alive, I'd still want her back right now. Please, never again write something that generalizes the male population, especially if you're going to be offensive about it. Most men, yes, are like that. Most women, yes, are also like that. However, there is a good percentage that have more taste, more emotion, and more control over their hormones. I hope you find one and I wish you well in losing weight. Women prefer taller guys and women prefer guys that are in shape 2. Men prefer girls that are in shape 3. Having personality helps make up for short-coming in these areas but it doesn't change the above facts 4. We do live in a society where it is hard to stay fit and healthy, esp. You need to take control. The real problem here isn't men, it is your coping mechanism for stress, which as you say is food. I've seen way more fat women with small men than I have fat men with smaller women. Let a big dude make up in his mind that he will exclusively date smaller women, you will then see an extremely lucky or extremely lonely individual. I am 5' tall and have gained a little weight after a family tragedy.... I now weigh 118 lbs.... I wanted to gain weight to be invisible to men, but, instead of being invisible I just attracted a different type of guy. It was the worse, as I truly enjoy being active and my size limited me and caused me to get injured. I am now thin again and never going back to that unhealthy way of life... I have never personally had a problem with the opposite sex and now that I am in my early 30's I find that I have quite the active sex and dating life. I also have an outgoing personality and a great sense of humor, I take great pride in my appearance and hygiene and I have a pretty face, I date and attract successful men who are not losers or even overweight themselves even though I hold no prejudice against larger men or men with blue collar jobs. Currently I am casually seeing a man who is a member of a drug enforcement task force and the assistant chief of the local fire department, I broke off things earlier this year with a man who was a gymnastics coach for a local college. These men are nice looking, fit and respected in my local community so Bianca, you and other overweight women are not doomed, I'm speaking from personal experience, self confidence and a personality will take you far in life if you know how to work it. Most of the time fatness is caused by the sinful behaviors of laziness and gluttony. So in finding a good wife, I would like to find one not living unrepentantly in sin. Just happens that the vast majority of those women are a healthy weight or currently working on weight loss. Men aren't shallow for not dating fat women if they don't find them sexually attractive. Would you rather your husband want to have sex with you or the woman he's looking at across the room? Wanting to bone your spouse helps prevent infidelity. What's the point of getting married besides sex? All emotional needs can be fulfilled through nonsexual friendships with women. The way to a man's heart is through his pants. If you want to marry, start offering something like a sexually attractive body that the man can't obtain through just friendship. Christianally speaking of course. I know most people do it before marriage. Fat guys know they're fat and expect to be treated that way. Fat GALS on the other hand want to be treated like a supermodel and NEVER speak of the rolls of sweaty fat and stinky va-jay-jay between their legs. Fat PEOPLE are gross, fat WOMEN are delusional AND gross. It's not like you're missing a leg, pigs, it's not like you've been burned and you look like a horror show. No, it's just fat and you're JUST lazy. GET OUT OF YOUR CHAIR! Stop sitting down so much fat people. You sit behind a TV, a computer, a dinner table, and you never get up. You get so fat that your ankles and feet start bothering you giving you yet ANOTHER excuse no to exercise and eat less. It's one thing to have LITERALLY a few extra pounds, but these exact women described above are NOT a few pounds over. A few pounds is like 5-15lbs. And sure as hell not 100lbs. No, monsters, 100 pounds is NOT a few extra, it's an entire week's worth of groceries that's what it is. It's the weight of a 7 year old child, probably one you still use as an excuse for being big.. More than men ever were. Because THEY LIE TO THEMSELVES! Something men never did. What's worse is they then REQUIRE men to lie to them too. You have to be a master liar to be with a fat woman. BUILT IN baby making instinct. Men are NOT meant to reproduce with fat women. Either mentally, physically, or both. There is a REASON they are fat! It deserves them LONELINESS until they reduce their weight. I'm not saying NO ONE should ever be with a fat woman. I'm saying that fat PEOPLE can LOSE WEIGHT! That is all there is. There is no coloring outside the lines.. One in about one MILLION people have an actual disorder that makes it so hard to lose weight that they need medication and GUESS WHAT.. THOSE people are ON that medication and they.. Do NOT mate with these cows. If they have the ambition to lose, they're worth it. If they don't, not only are they fat and unattractive, they also have ZERO ambition in life and THAT is something you don't want to pass on to your children either. END FAT ACCEPTANCE TODAY! ~ Lower Diabetes and Heart Disease Forever As A Result. You're either part of it or you're not. I know because I've heard this my entire life! Then men wonder why they can't find a nice girl who will be their confidante or best friend and more! You can't find someone like that if you are constantly basing a woman first on her weight! Give the fat girls a chance!!! We may have extra cushioning, but we can do everything else like the skinny or average woman! I don't want to generalize fat or thin women, but I find that fat women often have more of an appreciation for food. Most men also have an appreciation for food. I think this is true. Well, you would think maybe this would keep them, but sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it to turn out. All I know is men need to change their perception of fat women and give us a chance. Men need to stop being so obsessed with looks and dig deeper into who a person is. I recently joined an online dating site and so far all I've attracted is men my father's age or older. Yuck, I think it is gross to date someone my father's age! I think you are much more compatible with someone your age or within a few years. Maybe that's my shallowness rearing its' ugly head! Anyway, this online dating situation proves to me that men just don't like fat women. Just to prove this theory of mine, I posted pictures of myself when I was not so fat. I state that I'm overweight and one of my personal goals is to lose weight and get healthy. This is what men read and then they run!!!! If you're a man, stop acting as if you've never done this. Face the truth and stop blinding yourself. To make things worse, the site I joined is a Christian dating site and I thought Christian men would be less shallow. This is quite Okay. Let me just say it like this! If men can't accept all of you, then they don't deserve any of you. Men think that it's okay to be shallow, as some of the men on here seem to think. But it's wrong and insensitive as well. Let's say that a woman is overweight so a man doesn't want her,,but the moment she drops 50 pounds, he's suddenly all over her. She's basically the same person inside, she just lost the weight. That goes to show you that he's not really interested in her as a person, he's interested in her body. Because if he was interested in her as a person, he would have gotten to know her a long time ago before she lost the weight. Men like that are transparent and you can see right through them, my advice is to steer clear of them and find real men. As far as Christian men go, if they are only interested in women who are thin and skinny and meet society's standards of beauty, then that is wrong as well. As Christians, they are supposed to imitate the example of Christ who was never superficial. He doesn't care what you look like, dress like, or how much weight you have put on. All He cares about is the condition of your heart, of your soul. Everything else is irrelevant! Let me repeat that! Everything else is irrelevant! To make someone feel that they are somehow less deserving of love, time and attention because of weight is sin. Christian men must learn how to overcome this sinful world and are commanded to love everyone. If a Christian man is shallow, then He is not acting from love, but out of lust. No one has the right to make anyone feel bad about themselves or to make them feel unwanted and unlovable for any reason. Is a fat woman less attractive than a thin woman? But these are the lies that the world would have you to believe. Lie 1: You are not worthy of my affection until you lose some weight. You are worthy of affection. We live in a very shallow, evil, cruel and secular society that feeds on everything the media says. Pornography is a sin. Robert, shame on you for calling her Miss Piggy. This only proves my point how stupid some men can be. Would Robert like it if he was put down because of his looks, weight. Men being visual creatures is only an excuse to justify shallow and cruel behavior like Robert's. While it's good to look presentable, you shouldn't allow anyone to beat up on you because you don't look like a supermodel. Men need to learn to grow up and stop dealing all the hate! I would say a Russian tank would be better. The vagina will never be the same. There will be spider veins, flabby tissue, no flat stomach , a bad back, saggy body parts, a hernia, constipation, hemorrhoids, vaginal scar tissue, episiotomies, shrivelled-up dry, saggy small breasts, baldness, melasma, bad acne, and an extra fifty pounds. Never really understood the point of picking out a 'thin, attractive' woman because 'of her genes' for 'making babies'. Why do men who like thin women want babies? She ain't going to be thin for the four pregnancies and a year or so after that, most likely never. Can't see the appeal of a thin woman pregnant four times to a man who is a 'visual creature'. What is visually appealing about destroying a good-looking woman's appearance? They also want women who 'eat like men' but 'look like Pamela Anderson'. I would say a Russian tank would be better. The vagina will never be the same. There will be spider veins, flabby tissue, no flat stomach , a bad back, saggy body parts, a hernia, constipation, hemorrhoids, vaginal scar tissue, episiotomies, shrivelled-up dry, saggy small breasts, baldness, melasma, bad acne, and an extra fifty pounds. Never really understood the point of picking out a 'thin, attractive' woman because 'of her genes' for 'making babies'. Why do men who like thin women want babies? She ain't going to be thin for the four pregnancies and a year or so after that, most likely never. Can't see the appeal of a thin woman pregnant four times to a man who is a 'visual creature'. What is visually appealing about destroying a good-looking woman's appearance? They also want women who 'eat like men' but 'look like Pamela Anderson'. I'm a Christian man who dates, I am widowed. I am not shallow because I date slim ladies, your personal anger shows somewhat there- e. I am free to date what I am attracted to, period. I have obese friends, I have overweight friends. I do not date overweight women as I am simply not physically attracted to them. That's ok, it's alright because you can't switch an on and off button re. I have an M. In summary I work hard in my fifties to be slim and I will not date an overweight lady. Sorry, it's a freedom I have and something I can not help, I am attracted to slim ladies, always have been, always will be. I have friends that are fat, it's cool. I've now read the additional posts and it seems the opinions are still the same. I am also fat. I am also single. However, I am single by my own choice. I have a young daughter and I do not want to date until she is older. Whether skinny or fat, there are still too many weirdos out there to trust around her. Beside that point, I would like to add that I, personally, am attracted to larger men. And when I say larger, I mean over 250 lbs or more. I don't find thin attractive on men or women. Looks are not important if you are happy with who you are. That happiness makes you beautiful, no matter what. I grew up as a fat kid and was teased all my life. Yes, it was in my genes. Not gonna play the blame game but seriously wish my parents took better care of me and educated me about carbs, but they did not know any better either. We live in a shallow society, where people are revered for their external beauty all the time. I, like you, complain that guys don't wanna date me may be because I am too intelligent PhD in Cyber security and intimidate them, may be because I am a brown christian chick living in a conservative state, etc. But the fact of the matter is I am overweight. It's not obese but I can see so many beautiful girls around me and I know I will never pass that first look test of guys. Just like you, I thought Christian guys would not be as shallow but I discovered most of the times they are more critical and conservative when it comes to finding someone to date. Here, I must mention that I myself am a shallow creature and can't see myself going out with an overweight guy. I admit it I am shallow hence I am not a hypocrite. If an overweight girl like me doesn't wanna go out with a similar body type, why should I expect a normal guy to go out with me? That would be the mere definition of a double standard. Although, I must mention here that I've never been asked out by an overweight guy either. I think that is true in so many levels, everyone wants to be with a really attractive person. I have hypothyroidism and its hella difficult to lose weight by myself and have struggled for ever, hence the idea of hiring someone to guide me seems to be something I have to at least give a shot. Not only this, but it is high time I take care of my health too. So loosing weight would the optimal and logical solution to the conundrum that I face every day. For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: Show Details Necessary HubPages Device ID This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons. Login This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service. Akismet This is used to detect comment spam. HubPages Google Analytics This is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. HubPages Traffic Pixel This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. 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